I realize I haven't done this blog thing in a while, but maybe one day, I'll get into doing a weekly post, but for now, it is what it is.
So...as most of you know, my history with men is, let's just say, lacking at best, minus a few random hookups that never lead to anything except either heartache (one in particular...) or nothing at all. Now, minus the heartache, I'm fine with nothing developing with those other random individuals. I'll chalk those up to life experiences or just drunk nights at the Goldmine... Whoops...
Anyway, I'm now, shockingly, kind of in a relationship. Of course, his stats, etc. do not meet my mother's criteria of prince charming on a white horse that is supposed to come sweep me off my feet, marry me and have beautiful children with me (her grandchildren that she's wanted since I could birth children, let's be honest), but nonetheless, I'm happy-ish. However, there are still things I'm trying to figure out. Like:
1) When are you supposed to wear "cute" things to bed? I mean, I have shorts, etc., but you know what I mean. I don't exactly own things in that department. Shocking - I know.
2) When the hell can you get mad about lack of communication? And when I mean lack of communication, I'm not talking about not tell me about his feelings, etc., I'm literally just talking about communication. My man friend at the current moment sometimes fall off the planet on the weekends and then re-surfaces on Sunday nights. Now, grant it, I know when he's with his daughter (sorry Mom, he has a child and not just a child, a teenager...) or whatever the hell he's up to for the weekend, but I guess since he knows I know his plans, he doesn't not feel the need to communicate. Let me just say - it makes me nuts!!
3) I feel like I'm supposed to buy said man friend a Christmas present, but what's the appropriate amount to spend? It isn't like I'm rolling in money (thanks student loans), and I have no clue if/what he might be getting me for Christmas. The one thing I thought about getting him, after doing some googling, he isn't getting. The damn thing costs around $400. I can tell you one thing - we aren't at that level at all. There would need to be a significant diamond on my finger for me to spend that much on one person's Christmas present, minus the rents and my awesome grandmother.
So...those are a few things I'm currently trying to figure out at the moment - MEN. However, as some of you married folks might atest, I feel like I'll always be trying to figure men out. I just hope I get to the point and just trying to figure one out. I'm not cut out for this dating shit. It makes me nuts. I realize we all have to go through it, etc., etc., but I'm just not normal in any capacity when it comes to men or other things in life, so I just need something to work itself and I can be done and my mother (yes, this matters to me, even though, ultimately it shouldn't) is happy too.
Until next time...Cheers and Who Dat?!?!
1) Don't look at me. I did this early in our relationship and on the honeymoon and maybe 3 times since then. Put me on the horrible wife list! I just would rather wear pajama pants and t-shirts. But men are visual and this isn't sexy. I do think it's nice to make an effort with cute boy shorts (Gap and Old Navy usually have or even target) and a matching tank and every once in a while something racier...this is all hypothetical of course.
ReplyDelete2) I would not go there -- yet. If you do, I'd say it in a joking manner and in passing. Like next time he does it, when he calls, say "long time, no talk!" or "hey stranger!" And see what he says.
3) I say DO something vs. buy it. Offer to make him a nice dinner. Buy tickets to a movie. I always thought it was romantic when the husband would send me email invites to a nice dinner through Open Table (and it can be vague like "celebrate the holidays" - so it's not some big event. And bake cookies. Someone once told me the way to a man's heart is to keep his stomach full and his b@ll$ empty. Maybe that is all you need?!?!
Haha, love Ashley's advice!! Regarding your first point, I agree with Ashley. I think most men find boy shorts, tanks, etc. To be super sexy and I think a lot of them like casual. I have lots of stuff I never wear though so maybe that makes me bad but Nels doesn't seem to mind. The communication thing--I think that's tough. I would have a hard time if someone didn't call me all weekend. I mean, I would overanalyze about whether he wants to hang out with me. If he is with his daughter that would be fine but you would think he would know that ahead of time? Without knowing more details it's hard to say, though maybe its different because he's older and been on his own longer and that is his way of retaining his independence. Regarding the gift thing, yeah, I wouldn't spend more than $100 at this point, but you can at ldo skmethig special and romantic for not too much money.
ReplyDeleteNew idea: wear skimpy Santa lingerie as his holiday present. Then you've killed 2 birds with 1 stone. Just sayin'
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